17 March 2012

Top 4 Creationist Arguments

Creationism has millions of adherents, countless think tanks, and has been around for centuries. By now it should have an unbeatable combo of irrefutable knockout arguments, right?

Damn straight. Hold on to your pants, folks, 'cos you're about to be rocked by Creationism's Greatest Hits, the creme de la creme of anti-evolution arguments.

#1: Complexity!!!1!

The universe is beautiful! But it's also really confusing. So God must have made it. I mean, you couldn't make a universe could you? So there.

In other news, God made Windows Vista.

#2: But... you know... God.

He is God, you guys.

#3: Eeeew, monkeys!

They're right, you know. Monkeys are pretty gross. What with throwin' the poop and shit.

#4: Lalalalalalala!

...There's actually no way to argue with that one. These guys are good!

I don't know about you guys, but I find all of this really persuasive. If only evolution had arguments like this on its side! All we've got is stupid crap like evidence.

And more evidence.

And even more evidence.

And... well, you know.

How can we possibly compete?


  1. I'm a Christian and I have to correct one thing: creationism hasn't been around for centuries. It's a very new idea, probably around since 20th century but not earlier. The first Christians believes that creation took millions of years, but not six days.

    God bless you.

    1. Thanks for commenting!

      This is a flippant blog post I probably wouldn't make today; I wrote it back when I thought obnoxious atheism was cooler than it really is.

      To address your point, creationism is merely the position that the world was created by a creator, and doesn't necessarily have a position on the age of anything. Young Earth Creationism (or at least its surge in popularity) is indeed a comparatively recent thing, but there are plenty of "Old Earth Creationists" as well.

      Creationists needn't be Christian, either. There are Hindu creationists that are incorrect in the other direction, believing the age of the universe to be trillions of years old. So even if the first Christians believe what you say they did (and I think the point is arguable), it has no bearing on whether or not they were Creationists.

      For my use of "centuries" to be apt, though, I only need to go back to the 19th century to Lord Kelvin, William Paley, etc who argued for design, guided evolution, and so on.