SAGE Advice: Part 4

This time we'll be looking at some 3D fangames at SAGE, as well as some that are more heavily influenced by "Modern Sonic".

Sonic Adventure 3

Game made by Acidhead Games in Game Maker

Visit the Sonic Adventure 3 Booth!

I wish I could give this game a proper review, but sadly it's buggy as hell and I can't control it. Sonic doesn't seem to be able to run forward properly.

What I can see of the presentation, though, is underwhelming at best. No Sonic game, not even a 3D one, should have to have mouselook. It screams 'I've re-textured a basic FPS tutorial' not 'worthy follow-up to Sonic's last hurrah on the Dreamcast.'

My Advice: Who knows - if the controls work on your system, you might get something more out of it than I did. But I don't really see the point. I can't even say 'Great effort, guys!' because I'm most emphatically not a fan of 3D Sonic fangames. Why, exactly, would you want to repeat Sega's mistakes? Sonic works in 3D about as well as it does as an interpretive dance.

Sonic 3D

Game made by Zykov Eddy in EDuke 32

Visit the Sonic 3D Booth!

Well, this fares slightly better. I can at least control it. But again we have mouselook, which just feels wrong. Worse, since it's the only way to turn (the WASD controls allow only strafing), you have to always have one hand on the mouse. But of course, jump is mapped to the spacebar! Oh joy, we have to run and jump with one hand, while looking around with the other! It's far from the optimal setup, and isn't conducive to Sonic gameplay at all. Jumping on enemies or items is supposed to be the central action of a Sonic game, but here it's a tedious chore - like in most 3D versions of Sonic.

My Advice: In the end it feels like the poor man's version of the much better Sonic Robo Blast 2. I find it a shame that - perhaps in some attempt to be "impressive" - people are compelled to make 3D games like this. When most major studios can't get it right, what hope do you have? I'm all for quixotic perseverance in the face of the odds, but this is just silly. Maybe I'm just being closed-minded here, but does anyone actually have fun playing projects like this, or are they just glorified tech demos?

Sonic NXT

Game made by Altheboss in Game Maker

Visit the Sonic NXT Booth!

You know what? This one is horrible, too. I don't know if I'm just in a bad mood, or if these 3D and "Modern" fangames just suck (but I have a vague idea which it might be).

Aside from the borrowed graphics that are copy-pasted in the least imaginative of ways, the physics are also terrible. I bounced around in here for a good half-minute.

These springs bounce you right into a big solid thing. Helpful.

And the red spring to the left of here isn't powerful enough to send you further up this slant without stopping (you have to use the Spindash). Of course, in any decent engine it would be. It's almost as though the level design doesn't want me to play it.

Well, I'm happy to oblige it.

I do sorta like the Zone intro, though. Meh.

My Advice: This is way too broken to be any fun, and everything in it is recycled. Skip it. It's telling that the fangames that seem the most heavily influenced by the more recent Sonic games are also the worst.

And, yes, that's Tails with four tails. Saints preserve us.

Sonic Phoenix

Game made by LH_The_Hedgehog in Multimedia Fusion

Visit the Sonic Phoenix Booth!

Well, we've got a single act demo here, it appears. There are all the usual "Modern Sonic" suspects: boost, homing attack, Egg Pawns, wall jump, QTE's - the works.

Unfortunately there are also all the bad things about "Modern Sonic", too: treacly acceleration (PROTIP: Sonic is supposed to be fast), run-run-run-trick-run level design, and awful butt-rock music (though the Zone theme isn't terrible).

It has more polish than some similar attempts I've seen, though, I'll give it that much. And I like that it detects your ToD ("Time of Day") and changes the Zone's ToD accordingly.

My Advice: It's not totally unplayable (which means it stands out in today's group), but there's nothing that makes it fun. Though, compared to Shadow the Hedgehog 2 from last year, there's just no contest.

Well, they get props for blowing up Washington, I guess.

Wait... what? Now it's NY? I'm confused.

Sonic and the World Rings

Game made by A.J. in Multimedia Fusion

Visit the Sonic and the World Rings Booth!

Well, now it looks like we might be getting somewhere. This game makes an effort in the presentation category, and it's quite interesting for it to use double-tall resolution like a faux DS game. The title also suggests more thought has gone into storyline than if it was called "Sonic, um... 3D!".

Unfortunately, the storyline - taking a page from Sonic Rush Adventure - is told in a very unappealing way. (I also feel compelled to complain about the lazily coded message boxes, with words that type out only to jump to the next line after spilling over the right edge. It's not that hard to fix.)

We've also got a bottom-screen Tails bitching at Sonic (complete with grating voice clips), and an entirely pointless (and compulsory!) tutorial. 'This is how to walk left and right!' Honestly, would anyone dare to include something so banal if Dimps hadn't led the way?

Truly, Dimps poisons everything (to paraphrase Christopher Hitchens). Some more of the lovely Dimps-isms we're treated to here include pointless unskilled tricking to fill a boost meter (with the attending boost gameplay), death pits, bland Egg Pawns, and rooms full of bland Egg Pawns. C'mon, people, unless you're making a tongue-in-cheek parody hack, please aspire to a higher level than Dimps!

It gets worse. The level "plays itself", full of boosters and springs and rails. The homing attack (called the "Exact Attack") is awful - for some reason Sonic instantly transports to the enemies rather than zipping towards them. Ugh. There are also homing attack chains, which is a particularly brainless brand of gameplay. The few times Sonic is on solid ground it seems to be nothing but an exercise in running nose-first into crates. Has it really come to this?

I might be able to praise the original way that they handle the wall jump (continue to hold the jump button and alternate pressing left and right), but unfortunately, while it may be creative, it's terribly unintuitive and for that reason doesn't work as well as if they'd just left it alone.

Scattered throughout the Zone are bungie cords (you know the kind; first introduced in Green Forest from Sonic Adventure 2, and rehashed ever since), but they don't actually bungie (at least I couldn't get them to). They just stretch out until Sonic dies. Thrilling. I tried tricking, jumping, the "Exact Attack", spamming the directional keys... if this is some attempt to out-barrel the barrel, it's working.

My Advice: There's a more playable game here than the others we've just looked at, and the presentation is held to a slightly higher standard. If you can jump over the bungie parts (and if you fail, at least you seem to have infinite lives), there's a Sonic Rush-y bit of fun to be had. But when the Zone art and music is directly lifted from the Sonic Rush series itself, you're better off just playing those instead.

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Sorry this group was all duds, basically. I also apologise if my assessments are short and overly repetitive. I'm pretty swamped at the moment and I don't have time to be as brilliant as I'd like to be.

Next time, though, you can look forward to another gem! =)

SAGE Advice: Part 3

Note: It's come to my attention that there's more to Sonic Fusion than I gave it credit for. For some reason when I ran it on my machine, the "Up" button was continually registering, and that's what was killing Sonic's ability to roll or spindash. It also prevented me from accessing the other levels and characters from the menu. If and when I can resolve this issue, I'll be giving the game a more accurate and balanced review.

Sonic 2: Dimps Edition

ROM Hack of Sonic 2 by SOTI

Visit the Sonic 2: Dimps Edition Booth

As implied by the title, this is a hack of Sonic 2 that attempts to mimic the style of Dimps (the developer responsible for the Sonic Advance and Sonic Rush series, as well as the upcoming Sonic 4). This means that the Zones are chock-full of Speed Boosters, the Homing Attack is present (use button C), the jump height is lower, plus a few other minor modifications, such as to the music and sound. The illusion isn't complete - for instance the Monitors and Springs are still solid, which isn't the case in the majority of the Dimps titles - but the game is still under construction, so that's understandable.

Because this is a parody hack, it can't be evaluated in the traditional way. The music is intentionally worse; the physics are intentionally bad; the alterations intentionally take away from the experience of Sonic 2. As such I have no complaints except for this: The main additions, the Speed Boosters and Homing Attack, aren't properly implemented.

The Homing Attack isn't supposed to work when the enemies are above Sonic's head. Though I'm not sure how it works in Sonic 4, this is the case in the Dimps titles I've played.

The Speed Boosters are poorly coded. When Sonic hits them, he's immediately bumped outside of their hitbox, which creates a jerky motion. Again, in the Dimps games I'm familiar with, this isn't so - hitting Speed Boosters is actually very smooth. This is even more inexplicable because Chemical Plant Zone already has Speed Boosters in it, so I don't know why the creators of the hack didn't just take a hint from those objects' code.

It's all very well and good to throw something together sloppily if it's only going to reflect badly on Dimps and not yourself, but in the interest of accuracy I think that these issues should be fixed.

My Advice: The joke's a good one, and Dimps needs to be shown up after their recent miserable failures, but the idea quickly turns stale by the second or third level. If you don't play the game, though, at least check out the "Ben Kalough" PR video - if you've been following the turbid Sonic 4 saga, you'll probably enjoy the humour.

Sonic Gijinka

Game Made by Gear the Hedgehog in Game Maker

Visit the Sonic Gijinka Booth

There are three things that strike me about Sonic Gijinka. 1: Sonic is given a humanoid makeover. Weird, but not in itself an unworkable idea. 2: They're including some elements from the Sonic 1 beta, such as the "Welcome" sign in Green Hill Zone. 3: It's the worst thing I've ever played.

Right off the bat you'll notice that the sprite is hideous - excuse-me-a-moment-while-I-bleach-my-eyes hideous - and isn't even the right size in relation to its other frames, let alone the other objects. This is odd because the Zone graphics aren't totally irredeemable.

The background paralax is calculated using both the player's X and Y position, so it moves left and right when the player jumps. I can't for the life of me figure out why this should be so - or how anyone thought it was acceptable to reveal a demo with a bug that basic.

If you can stomach the sprites long enough to actually play the one act you're offered, you'll be in for even more punishment. The game engine (called the "Sonic Revival Unleashed b4", it appears) is so jerky and sluggish that it'd be funny if it wasn't so painful. I'll be the first to admit that modern Sonic games are too speed-crazy, and that momentum plays an important role in Sonic gameplay, but there has to be some middle ground between i-can't-see-what's-whizzing-by and oh-god-why-am-I-suddenly-a-quadriplegic. When you spend most of your time during the level waiting for your damn jump to fall back down, something's wrong.

My Advice: Don't stick anything larger than your ear on your elbow. (What - you expect me to make sense after Sonic Gijinka melted my brain?)

Be the Bullet

Game made by Steven M in Multimedia Fusion

Visit the Be the Bullet Booth

Be the Bullet is a crazy original concept - a Sonic the Hedgehog sidescrolling shmup that harks back to the NES era. As the game opens, you're treated to a remix of the Capcom Ducktales Moon theme, so you know good things are in store.

But how does Sonic shoot if he doesn't have a gun? Well, he doesn't actually shoot bullets - he is one. Hence the title.

By pressing the attack button, Sonic shoots forward in his Spindash form, destroying any enemies in his path. When he reaches the right edge of the screen, he wraps back around to the left (how old-school can you get? =P) and returns to the marker position he was fired from (while he's Spindashing, you can move the marker, and this is actually used to cross obstacles such as waterfalls - it's all very clever and well thought out).

When Sonic destroys an enemy, any of its bullets that are still on screen turn into Rings, which draw towards him until he collects them. When Sonic is hit, he loses Rings, so there's no insta-death here like the unforgiving NES shooters you may be used to. I'm also happy to note that Sonic doesn't "crash" into the level boundaries, he just slides up against them. One of the things I hate the most about shmups is when the environment kills you as well as the enemies, and it's good that that's not the case here.

My Advice: I'm not terribly good at playing this type of game, but I can recognise its worth and I really like the old-school presentation. And for once I don't have to say, 'it's not original enough!'

Sonic Construct Worlds

Made by Candescence in Construct

Visit the Sonic Construct Worlds Booth

I'm afraid it's back to the bad news with Sonic Construct Worlds. It's an extrememly unpolished first attempt at recreating the Sonic Worlds engine in Construct. While this might spell future good fortune for Sonic fangame makers that favour Construct, at the moment the engine is absolutely unusable.

I'm not going to be judgemental about Sonic Construct Worlds, because all of us engine-makers have had builds as sorry as this one. In a year or two, this could well be the best Sonic fangame engine there is - but there's no way to tell from what's on offer here. Personally I can't imagine why someone would even bother showing this off. Understanding folks (like me) won't hold it against the creator when their next engine demo is on display, but the majority are going to write this off as hopeless when they see it.

My Advice: If you don't have something to show, don't show it.

...Oh, right, advice for SAGE goers - skip this one; and if you don't skip it, cut the creator some slack: the only mistake they've made is to be overeager to show their work.

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SAGE Advice: Part 2

Last time, I talked about three games that didn't follow the traditional Sonic formula. This time I'll be looking at a few games that will definitely feel more familiar.

Sonic Genesis

Game made by Toaster1 in Game Maker

Visit the Sonic Genesis Booth

Those Sonic fans amongst you who survived 2006 (despite Sega's best efforts) probably remember the horrendous GBA port of Sonic the Hedgehog called "Sonic Genesis" - unless, that is, you blocked the traumatic experience.

Fortunately, though, this game is similar to that release in name only. So, what do we have here?

A classic-style Sonic fangame with partially original graphics, a passable engine, a borrowed Sonic 3D Blast tune, and some modified enemies (I like the Shellstoppers, myself). There's also a Robotnik boss at the end that's pretty easy to defeat.

And I'm afraid that's pretty much it. There's nothing particularly wrong with it, aside from the usual deficiencies of the Rogueyoshi/Damizean engine it uses. But there's nothing on offer here to jump over the moon for, either.

This is actually a common problem with Sonic fangames. I know it's incredibly hard work to put together a level, and people want to show off their work - but when the achievement basically boils down to something we've all seen before, what's the point? In the end, we're left saying, 'Good effort, but come back when you have something new to show us.'

I also have a personal pet peeve - I hate seeing the Tropical Island trope done to death. You can bet that out of any random selection of Sonic fangames, 3 out of 4 will be a single-zone demo set on an island. Sure enough, that category is well-represented at this year's SAGE, so I'll run down some of the others. But first...

My Advice: I have nothing against this game, but since there's nothing here we haven't all seen before (over and over), I recommend you pass. I am looking forward to seeing progress on it, though, because there's certainly potential. Next SAGE, maybe?

Sonic Zero: Remastered

Game made by Mr.Kaosu, LarkSS, and Sparks in Multimedia Fusion

Visit the Sonic Zero: Remastered Booth

I appraised this game last year, and wasn't especially impressed. This year things are marginally better.

Oh, joy - another palmtree-laden green level! At least they have the decency to acknowledge this (the Zone is called "Generic Garden"), but I might go so far as to say that this betrays a deepfelt ennui with Sonic on the part of the creators. If you have to stoop to pointing out just how mundane you are, isn't it time to do something else?

The engine is Sonic Worlds, which is still as buggy as ever, so there's nothing special there. The layout and music are just kinda there - again, it feels like there isn't enough creativity to go around. I'm particularly incensed by the Robotnik statues scattered around - when Taxman's Retro Sonic did that, it was cool and original. I hate to see a good game ripped off like that.

My Advice: Ultimately I find it a bit boring, but to be fair it is put together reasonably well, so it's not a total waste of time. But don't expect it to stick in your memory.

Sonic Redux

Game made by Retronic in Multimedia Fusion

Visit the Sonic Redux Booth

And... yet another tropical island! Hooray!

Seriously, though, Sonic Redux is rescued from oblivion by the fact that it's heavily based on Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Sure, it may not be any more original than any other fangame that borrows art, layouts, and music, but most opt to rip off Sonic 1, 2, or CD. It's somewhat refreshing to see a fangame that revels in the style of the latter two Sonic classics.

There's also a fair amount of imagination on display here, too, despite the "redux" business. I predict that this will do very well if they can keep it up.

I do, however, have to bring up the frankly terrible camera. There is nothing wrong with stable, classic Sonic camera - so why do so many fangames feel obliged to screw over the entire experience with weird new camera systems? It would be one thing if it actually worked, but most of the time it doesn't even follow your character properly, inducing migraine headaches. And woe betide someone who dares to run around a loop! Enough with the lerpy derpy cameras, people.

My Advice: It's totally worth it just to see Knuckles on a surfboard in the opening sequence. I'd also recommend you keep your eye on it, too - this promises to be something special.

Sonic Fusion

Game made by Felik in Multimedia Fusion

Visit the Sonic Fusion Booth

I really liked Sonic Fusion at last year's SAGE, and I was doubly excited for it this year after seeing the trailer. Full motion video? Comic book panel cutscenes? Hell, yeah!

Unfortunately I was brought down immediately. Another tropical island? And after the nice, original Zone from last year? I AM DISAPPOINT! And why is it so ugly? With the Richard Jaques version of Green Grove Zone's theme in the background, it's almost like they want me to hate this level!

Also, in some misguided attempt to feel more like a Sonic Adventure-inspired game, there's no proper way to roll up or Spindash (unless I'm doing something wrong, but it should be obvious, right?) The level layouts and physics are also really poor, leading to cheap blows and lots of frustration.

It's terribly sad to see a promising Sonic fangame actually regress, developing Tropical fever and falling apart at the seams. I can only hope it will recover.

My Advice: Download it to ogle the cutscene, and - heck - give the gameplay a go. See if you can bear it. You'll only die a little.

Sonic Zeta Overdrive

ROM Hack of Sonic 2 by Mikel

Visit the Sonic Zeta Overdrive Booth

I've come across the occasional basic hacking tutorial online before. I was amused once to read one that said something to the effect of, 'First, come up with an idea for your hack.' From my point of view, you'd think someone would have already done just that if they were bothering to read a hacking tutorial in the first place.

But I guess that's not always the case. Exhibit A: Sonic Zeta Overdrive.

Well, the name sounds impressive, but does the hack live up to it? Judge for yourself by looking at that screenshot. I'm sorry, but anyone capable of leaving a palette like that in their game isn't instilling a lot of confidence in their other abilities.

The hack feels totally directionless: clumsy, sparse level design; flat, uninspired music; the throwaway inclusion of Bean the Dynamite as a playable character (which I would otherwise find cool, but the implementation of it here is nothing more than a lousy edit of Sonic's spriteset); and a jumble of reused graphics that don't belong together at all.

My Advice: Sonic Zeta Overdrive amounts to little more than a glorified palette hack. I can't think of any grounds for recommendation.

Sonic Axiom

Game made by Vexer in Multimedia Fusion

Visit the Sonic Axiom Booth

Aw, hell. Another island paradise rehash fest with that malignant Sonic Worlds engine. Will the pain ever end?

Um... yes, actually, it will. Sonic Axiom, bizarre title and slightly weak first level aside, is the best Sonic fangame I have ever played. (I did promise this last time, remember? =P)

Let's look past the problems here for a moment. Yes, there are physics glitches spewing everywhere - what can you expect with MMF and Sonic Worlds? - and yes, the framerate and sound mixing are just plain bad. But the Zones... the Zones!

The graphics are mix of wholly original tiles and repurposed bits of all the classics, but never have I seen such an elegant fusion of these elements. You have to actively check yourself and remember, 'hey, these are borrowed graphics!', so well are they put together.

Sonic Axiom is a whole lot more than the sum of its parts. As a devotee of Sonic Zones, I of course am wowed by the gorgeous level graphics, but that's not all it has going for it. The music choices are apt, atmospheric, and absolutely lovely. The layouts are genuinely fun, surprising, challenging-but-fair, and contain some creative platforming - something Sonic fangames usually sorely lack.

I could talk more about it, but I'm too busy drooling over those multi-plane backgrounds...

My Advice: Yes, yes, yes! If you play nothing else at SAGE this year, play Sonic Axiom. I admit it may not be for everybody - my personal history of loving Sonic CD (particularly the North American version) sets me up to respond positively to this game. Others may indeed hate it because it's not "boost-boost-boost-Crush-40" enough. Well, sod them, I say. Play this game.

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SAGE Advice: Part 1

One of my first posts here was a rundown of my thoughts on the crop of Sonic fangames at SAGE 2009. Well, it's been another year, and here we are at SAGE 2010. Of course I can't resist spilling what I think about this year's offerings, so here goes.

I'll be covering the games INPO, and I won't be covering them all (some aren't related to Sonic, so I didn't bother trying them out). I also won't be fitting them all into this post, so check back each day for the latest reviews if you're interested.

Lazy Sonic

Game made by Sad Hedgehog in Game Maker

Visit the Lazy Sonic Booth

I started with Lazy Sonic, because, to be honest, I thought it didn't look like much and I figured I should get it out of the way quickly. I can be excused for not expecting anything amazing because the game advertises itself as being lazily made.

As I started playing, my suspicions seemed to be confirmed. It's very basic graphically and artistically, its physics are sluggish, and there aren't any loops or anything of the sort in sight. The levels are made entirely of repeating blocks and floating platforms.

However, instead of immediately scoffing I continued to play and found that it wasn't actually so bad. The physics, while slow, aren't plagued with glitches and are quite solid. There's no Spindash, and the jump doesn't have variable height, though, and that kinda sucks.

I have to give props for using the Pocket Adventure sprites, which I really like, rather than the overused Sonic Advance sprites. It gives off a certain charm. I was also pleased to discover that progressing through the first level and fighting the boss wasn't riddled with poor hit detection or other sloppy glitches you might expect.

The first boss is actually very reminiscent of the Great Turquoise Zone boss from Sonic Triple Trouble. Although one wonders how many of those Badniks Robotnik can fit inside his Egg-o-matic....

The second Zone, though, is where Lazy Sonic really started to shine. When I saw Sonic riding on the Tornado, I thought, 'Oh, no, not another boring Sky Chase rip-off' but I was completely surprised by the "Sky Ruins" idea.

Instead of a Zone consisting entirely of the Tornado and Badniks, there are floating ruins and platforms for Sonic to interact with. By jumping, you can even steer the Tornado backward, making the auto-scrolling aspect less restricting.

Maybe I'm easily blown away, but I found this idea both simple and simply amazing. It's very humbling to boot up a game called "Lazy Sonic" expecting a glitchy amateurish mess, and be met with a totally original level concept like this. Sky Chase has always been a one-off in Sonic, an oddity that didn't really mesh. Sure, it's been rehashed several times (in Sonic Adventure, and Sonic Unleashed), but never properly expanded upon or integrated into the normal Sonic gameplay like this before. Sky Ruins Zone has made me think, 'Hey, yeah... why hasn't there been another Tornado-bound Zone in Sonic?' The concept has some mileage left in it, it seems.

So, thank you Lazy Sonic, for injecting a little something fresh into my Sonic world. That's why I love fangames! =)

It's not all good, though. The next Zones have some areas that are poorly thought through. Some areas in the second Zone are very similar to those in the first, and that just seems... well, lazy! Also there are some textbook examples of bad level design. Take these platforms for example:

They are further apart than Sonic's jump height, and they move in perfect unison. This makes it extraordinarily difficult to jump from one to the other. In cases like these, the platforms should be offset so that one carries the player toward the other. Games that don't think things like this through tend to have unforgiving bottleneck areas in the levels that frustrate players until they stop playing. Challenge in games should be intentional.

Or maybe I'm just a lazy player.... Anyway I did enjoy what I played, and I'll probably return to it to play more after I finish trying out the rest of the SAGE submissions.

My Advice: It's not an absolute must-see, but I'd recommend it, especially to fans of Sonic's earlier handheld titles.

The Rose of Longevity

Game made by DarkJedi188 in Game Maker

Visit the Rose of Longevity Booth

I've seen this game in passing before, perhaps at previous SAGEs, but I've just now given it a try. I should have trusted my prior judgement - playing this game is a mistake.

Aside from having the worst plot ever (Amy Rose, afraid that by the time she finally wins Sonic's heart she'll be old and (more) hideous, seeks the Rose of Longevity, which has the power to keep her youthful), this game's physics are also atrocious. And by that I mean fall-through-the-floor-for-no-reason, appear-half-a-screen-above-springs-when-you-hit-them, camera-jerks-uncontrollably atrocious.

Whatever buried charms this game may have, they cannot be appreciated through the fog of the horrible game engine. Having worked in Game Maker for years, even in the Free version, I can tell you that there's no excuse for failure on this level. Modifying the provided platformer tutorial would result in a better game than this.

My Advice: Avoid at all costs, unless you're a slavering Amy Rose fanatic. If you are, avoid me at all costs - please!

Techno: The Gamma Project

Game made by Techno Superguy in Game Maker

Visit the Techno: The Gamma Project Booth

Yes, this isn't strictly a Sonic the Hedgehog fangame, but I've played a game by the same creator before called "Techno the Hedgehog", which I thought was very entertaining. There wasn't much to the gameplay, but the writing was tongue-in-cheek, and I enjoyed the experience. So I figured I'd give this a chance, too.

The writing is up to the standard I was expecting. But I was also pleasantly surprised by the gameplay. While repetitive and not very original, it's smooth, fast, and feels very playable. It's the type of game that doesn't fight you, and compels you to keep breezing through the levels in order to watch the story unfold.

My Advice: If you liked Techno the Hedgehog and its style, check this out. If you prefer your games to be a bit more than mindless fun, give it a pass.

Next Time...

So that's three appetisers for you. Next time I post there will be some heavier hitters, including what might well be my favourite fangame ever, so stay tuned.

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Alternate, Unreleased SatAM Theme Songs

I found these unreleased alternate title themes for SatAM Sonic over at Saturday Morning Sonic and I wanted to share them here so that more people could hear them.

I've set them to the footage from the normal title theme, just so you'll have something to look at while listening.

For more info and MP3 downloads, go here.

Thanks to Michael Tavera for donating these to the Sonic Community!

Note: The titles are of my own device, because none were listed.

"Seriously mondo". That is all. =P

Lyrics:

Sonic hits the ground, feet spinnin' around
Nobody can rocket as fast as he can

Supersonic guy, Sally by his side
Freedom Fighters, too - he's a Sonic hedgehog!

When Robotnik tries to catch him
Sonic just turns on his speed

Juice it to the top, never gonna stop
Way past cool - he's a Sonic hedgehog!

Sonic's havin' fun, Robotnik's on the run
Seriously mondo - a Sonic hedgehog!

Nobody can stop Sonic the Hedgehog!

This one's sung from Sonic's PoV, and the voice actually sort of fits him. I prefer it to the guy they got for Sonic Underground's music vids, at least. (shudder)

Lyrics:

Ah, yeah, yeah!

Gotta rocket, gotta juice it
I'm hypersonic, ultra-cool

Gotta blast off, gotta move it
I'm burnin' way past cool

Technotronic Freedom Fighter
Ultraphonic super-cool

I got talents, way amazing
I ain't nobody's fool

Gotta rocket, gotta juice it
I'm hypersonic, ultra-cool

Gotta blast off, keep on movin'
Keep on burnin' way past cool

You know I'm burnin' way past cool!

I think this one's my least favourite.

At around 0:20 the singer sounds like Weird Al. =)

The lyrics on this one are just about as ass as it's possible to get, but I do like the reference to "Final Zone".

Lyrics:

Listen, everybody
Gonna have a party
I'm the baddest dude around

Brother, let's get started
It's an all night, alright,
Super Sonic Jam!

Don't you know there's nobody faster
Baby, I'm the real master blaster
Goin' all the way to the final zone

Talking hotshot, too rad, I'm bad to the bone

Listen, everybody
Gonna have a party
I'm the baddest dude around

Brother, let's get started
We're Super Sonic Jammin' tonight

Super Sonic - Super Sonic Jam!

This is an alternate version of "Super Sonic Jam" that makes the music sound even more "surfy". Ugh.

This one matches the best with the footage (especially at the beginning). I wonder if the footage was final when this one was written?

This one is my personal favourite; it reminds me a little of the Sonic CD Japan soundtrack.

Lyrics:

Go, supersonic, way past the limit
Cruise supersonic speed, yeah
Faster and faster, supersonic speed

Zoomin' every place, never gonna lose the race
Come on, let's juice it, yeah

Blazin' through the air
You see, there's nothing to it

Sonic speed, no one can match it
Totally no one can catch it

Look out, everybody, here we go!

Go, supersonic, way past the limit
Cruise supersonic speed, yeah
Faster and faster, supersonic speed

Supersonic!

P.S. I think it's hilarious that YouTube chose Sally for the thumbnail frames, when SatAM detractors are always complaining that it's just the "Sally Acorn Show". =P

Aliens vs. God

At AlterNet, Greta Christina has outlined 6 (Unlikely) Developments That Could Convince [Her] To Believe in God, with the intent to show that atheists are willing to specifiy exactly what evidence would be sufficient to change their mind - something most religious folks are loath to do.

It's a great article, and I'm behind it all the way. There is, however, one thing that I think bears more thought: How would we know any given proof of God wasn't the work of godlike aliens?

Greta Christina writes,

If I saw an unambiguous message from God, I would be persuaded of his existence. If I saw writing suddenly appear in the sky, in letters a hundred feet high, saying "I Am God, I Exist, Here Is What I Want You To Do" -- and if that writing were seen by every human being, written in whatever language they understand, comprehended in the same way by everyone who saw it -- I would be persuaded that God existed. I'd be puzzled as to why he'd waited this long -- why he'd decided to do it in 2010 and not at any other time in human history -- but I'd still believe.

She then anticipates the heckler's gibe of, "Aliens!":

(And for the record: Yes, it's possible that this could happen without God. It could hypothetically, for instance, be accomplished by a highly technologically advanced alien species. But I don't think that would be the simplest explanation. If this phenomenon happened, "God" would, in my opinion, be a simpler explanation than "aliens" -- and unless I saw good evidence that the writing was done by aliens, God would be the provisional conclusion I would come to.)

She says that she thinks God would be a simpler explanation. I'm not so sure; it seems to me that aliens are a more parsimonious explanation, seeing as how - also according to the laws of parsimony* - we assume aliens extremely likely to exist, while God is extremely unlikely to exist.

*To maintain that aliens do not exist requires the extra assumption that either there is something special about Earth in particular, or that the origin of life is so unlikely that it only occured once in the universe - a proposition that is as of yet unsupported.

Think of it like this: If a human being from ancient Egypt saw a television set, they would assume it was magic. They would not know that such technology could even exist, and the idea of magic, which is commonplace to them, would seem like a much simpler explanation.

The real problem with God being a parsimonious explanation is this, as she touches on in the article:

I'd be puzzled as to why he'd waited this long -- why he'd decided to do it in 2010 and not at any other time in human history -- but I'd still believe.

This is the crux of the issue. In order for God to be a workable theory, we'd have to explain why he only seems to exist now, and not (as is claimed by believers) since the beginning of time. What could account for the absense of evidence of God up to this point? Explaining this would, it seems to me, require a bevy of assumptions and rationalisations that may equal, if not exceed, those necessary for the "aliens" hypothesis.

It's a safe bet that any aliens visiting us will be highly advanced. It's also a pretty safe bet that they would have studied humanity long enough to know that posing as God would be a great way to conquer humans, or at the very least get some yuks.

Yes, this assumes things about the aliens' intentions, but no more or less than the rationalisations of God's intentions for revealing himself suddenly. The old line, "we can't know the mind of God" can't be resorted to - that's not the kind of reasoning we infidels like to use. =P

If I see a fat man in a red suit fly overhead in a sleigh drawn by eight tiny reindeer, the first thing to assume as a proper sceptic isn't Santa Claus. I think the fact that concepts such as Santa Claus, or God, have been around a long time and are intuitive to people doesn't make them parsimonious at all. In fact, the exact opposite is true. The fact that they've existed for so long without confirmation makes them some of the most unlikely explanations possible.

And finally, their status as fiction is another - and devastating - hit against them. The likelihood of something someone came up with being real is as likely as me beginning to quote verbatim from a book I've never read - and that has yet to be written. In fact, the only way for these fictions (of God, Santa Claus, or anything else) to reflect reality at all is if there is some mechanism - such as revelation - that could relay the information of reality into the visions or writings of man. It can't just appear there - any more than monkeys can recreate Shakespeare by randomly beating on a typewriter for a trillion times the universe's age.

Of course, revelation can't be posited as the mechanism, because it can be shown - quite easily - to be bunk. If it wasn't, all religions would be the same (or at least agree on the basic facts). Of course, they don't - they can't even agree on the number of Gods there are.

With such good reasons to disbelieve the existence of God, seriously suggesting "aliens with the intent to deceive" isn't intellectually dishonest, or the shying away from proof of God by a dogmatic atheist. It would be the sound, sceptical, scientific thing to do.

Only when these other explanations were falsified would I accept God as the provisional explanation for such phenomenon as Greta Christina describes.